An Invitation in Dead Time

Fortunately, I have worked with one of the gentlest, wisest, most caring people in the Jesuit order. Indirectly he taught me daily something new about myself and realizations about my spirituality. Along with his passion for contemporarizing spirituality, he was a crafter of thoughts with words.

I still keep one of the sentences he used in some of his talks, and thought I would share it, this personal question, with you.

“What is your defining horizon?”

This was just one question he would ask you to ponder in ‘dead’ (spare/free)time. I thought that was truly painting a visual picture!

I'll share with you mine: when my mom died I was young and did not realize the impact her death or her influence and the depth of my loss until I had children; a counselling session while going through divorce proceedings when I realized I could and would survive; a Mother's Day card from my son, broke because of med school, but presented a most thoughtful letter about being a son to me; remeeting Ty.

Georges Rouault and Conflicted Souls

What’s old is new again.

I’m not one to write about political beliefs on a public forum, but it’s evident that our current global society (economy, environment, world peace) is broken. This is not a political statement, or even a social commentary: it’s just the reality.
Just look at the front cover of the New York Times

Maybe a stretch, but I can compare the current atmosphere with that of Georges Rouault, a painter (1869-1958) influenced by social commentary. I recently viewed his work which is spiritually, and at times mystically, infused by his definition of the human and social condition of his time. His view of people who were yearning for justice in a world of hypocrisy and pretense. He crafted his subjects ‘masked’ to hide their worldly suffering or secret plans.

Somewhat a universal and timely message.


"Nothing is old, nothing is new, save the light of grace underneath which beats a human heart. The way of feeling, of understanding, of loving; the way of seeing the country, the faces that your father saw, that your mother knew. The rest is chimerical..." ~Georges Rouault

Choices

It is the story of two wolves barking within. The first wolf is filled with anger, hatred, bitterness & mostly revenge. The second wolf is filled with love, kindness, compassion & forgiveness. Question: "Which wolf will win?" Answer: "Whichever you feed." ~Native American Tale

For One More Day and Eat, Love and Pray

"If you had the chance, just one chance, to go back and fix what you did wrong
in life, would you take it? And if you did, would you be big enough to stand
it?"

Stirs up a lot of emotion~
So, who would you spend one last day with and what would you say?

My mom. She died as I began my tumultuous teen years, and I was not a pleasant person to be around. 'Challenging' would be a mild word to describe me during that time of self-centeredness and rudeness. It's a path most teenagers detour to at that time in their lives - some exit quicker than I did.

I wasn't equipped with the foresight to see my mom's pain both physically and psychologically. I regret that. Humbly, I would ask her foregiveness. I would ask for her words of wisdom as a mother. Yes, that's it. No instructions come with how to mother and raise children. It's the kindness and goodness of our mothers who guide us through this delicate time of nurturing.

Motivated by another relevant book, Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Love and Pray. I followed my intuition. I was (it's ever-present) on a spiritual journey of sorts a few years ago in my life. Reconnections had a very strong pull in my vortex. A very close friend whom I hadn't seen in over 15 years came back into my life. Then there was a love from my past whom I once shared a history with over 20 something years ago. This inner voice spurred me to reconnect and reawaken this past relationship - even though it seemed unlikely just because we were in different places on the globe. I wish both my mom and Ty could meet. He would make her smile.

What's your Mantra?

I’m daily reminded of mine – "Be in the here and now". That philosophy brought my partner and me together again after 20+ years of being apart.

A new one is percolating inside me … “Be still and trust the process.” Why? Because my dear friend keeps reciting and repeating that to me…impatient that I am .. not a true Capricorn. One of the characteristics of being the goat is patience - not a strong suit of mine~




So, what's your mantra?

It's My Life

Like the chorus from one of Bon Jovi's songs:

It's my life
It's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)

So, today, let loose -- do what's in your mind, your heart, your soul.... sing out loud, dance naked, smile for no reason at all....